Daily Beautiful Mess
Sometimes when you’re ready, the day is not ready for you to be productive
It’s ok. Try hard to fight the frustration and find a way to save your energy and positivity for the time when the day is ready and see the beauty in the mess of the day and stay level or move forward anyway you can. Do not take steps back; you have come far to make it to today!
I spent the weekend cleaning a house that was basically, just-moved-in status. I had to fight hard to even get motivation to do this so I wasn’t continuing the pattern of picking through piles of clothes for matching socks or stepping carefully over… let’s be real, stepping on, clean clothes to get from place to place in my house. It got this bad because I made a conscious decision during a very busy few weeks of work to just not clean - not clean because I had to pick which one I could do and I only get 2 out of 4: write, watch kids, wash hair, and/or clean. It was hard and it definitely got my mood down multiple days living in such an untidy state. I am still trying to find balance in all this. So when I started the day with a B- clean house this morning, I was motivated to do work, and start my week productively. Not what the world had planned. Had some external obstacles put in front of me this morning and I felt frustrated (at first). Reeeally frustrated.
So, I watched my kids play in the remaining mess (I always save the living room and toys for last) this morning, when I was feeling particularly discouraged knowing we don’t have daycare last minute, but I still have work and meetings, and things to do in the lab and my husband has a full day of work, and saw beauty, and it took away 10% and then 20%, and now more of the frustration as I let that little bit of positivity spark more with each thought and moment this morning. They were busy, oblivious to the mess around them, let me clean up a bit while they played, and they were just happy to be and to have momma home, like they are everyday, since COVID pandemic started. It was, a beautiful mess. I won’t be sitting someday when I’m older, wishing I folded my laundry or edited this paper specifically on today, October 12, 2020. I’m going to look at pictures and videos of my kids and remember the memory of today, playing with them and loving them. Perspective. We are all going to be ok.
